nedsseveredhead:

I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.


peperomint:

when u dislike a song on an 8tracks but u dont dislike it enough 2 waste a skip on it so u just gotta suffer thru


"My wife is not a handbag. If she doesn’t want to come, she doesn’t want to come. She is her own person and has her own life."



samagotchi:

when u accidentally click a link so u dont release the mouse and kind of slowly drag away from the link. threat avoided. citizens safe. for now.


dorasfedora:

I hate when you’re at someone’s house and they’re like
‘mum, she’s hungry’
And you’re like NO DONT SAY THAT I SOUND SO NEEDY WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST SAY WE!?!?